Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Questions


I came for your questions of what you don’t know
But you can’t see the answers unless I go
So give me your hatred and give your diseased
Give me your tired and I’ll take them with me
-Jon Mclaughlin


It is a difficult time for my family. We find ourselves in a situation where money is tight and about to get much, much tighter. My first thought is that we won't be able to make it - I'm not sure how you get from where we are to where we have to go. Right now we are frustrated and stressed out in ways I'd never have imagined. I am stressed to the point of psychical exhaustion. I've begun to doubt - to worry.

It seems to me you can handle these types of situations three ways: loose yourself in activity so you forget, try to work harder in order to earn your way out, or open the word and hit your knees. I've done all three. In that order. It's odd to me that the last thing I try is the thing that seems to have the best success rate.

I heard the Jon Mclaughlin song today and it made me wonder how true those words really are. There is a lot of hatred and disease in the world and I am very, very tired. Is Jesus taking us with him? Did he really take those things on himself and rid us of them? A lot of times it feels like he didn't. There are certainly times when I experience love, and healing, and rest. However, right now, in the day to day, I don't feel those things and He seems far away.

Someone I love very much wrote a beautiful blog about Emmanuel - God is with us. She talks about God being involved in every aspect of our lives and how she (we) often miss it. There have been so many moments where I have experienced God. I have seen the earth from 6000ft - I know he is creator. I am sitting in a comfortable home - I know he is provider. I am well - I know he is healer. I have community, friends, and family - I know he is good. He is love. He is Father. I have a hard time with Emmanuel. It's in the tiny moments between moments that we discover if He is with us. The world is loud and these moments often go unnoticed. In times like these the question for me is not, do I experience Emmanuel? Because I don't - I'm missing it. The question for me now is, do I believe Emmanuel?

3 comments:

Lindsay Mizell said...

You said what I was scared to. Isn't it funny how at 6000 feet it is almost instant to experience the emmanuel. At a little above sea level, things change. At 6000 feet I'm sure. Here....it is so hard. The world sucks. And it makes me angry that if God is here, and I believe he is, that it sucks. But I think the real experience of Emmanuel will always bring peace. Always bring mercy. Always bring hope. I think we're missing it. And, I'm kind of scared of it.
By the way, this was one of my favorites you've ever done.

glcreations said...

"Jesus? I feel so lost."
A hand reached out and squeezed, and didn't let go.
"I know. But it's not true. I am with you and I'm not lost. I'm sorry it feels that way, but hear me clearly, you are not lost."

Hold his hand when you feel scared, scared of the future, LET HIM LEAD and he will.

It's funny - you guys are the ones who truly opened my eyes to this concept.

I love you guys & I will pray for you. By the way I love the photo of you & Kyla

Daniel said...

For some reason, it's hard for me to remember "God with us"... I know it's true, but do I really BELIEVE?

Your words have challenged me. Please pray that, I too, always remember to open the Word and Hit My Knees in Prayer!!! Good times, and the bad!

Love you bro.
Daniel