Tuesday, May 13, 2008


...let your love cover me
like a pair of angel's wings
You are my family.
- Ryan Long-

I've been listening to a lot of Ryan Long's stuff lately and its really spoken to me in several ways. Of all is songs Family has meant the most to me over the last couple weeks. I do want to talk about the idea of common pain, but first I'm going to do something that I promised myself I wouldn't do when I started blogging. I'm going to talk about people, and I'm naming names. When I hear this song certain images come to mind. I think of grave side services, hospital waiting rooms, mountian tops, beaches, cookouts. I think of worship and discussion - car rides and quiet conversation. I see my life, good and bad - pain and joy. I see everything I am and all that I'm not. Who I am and who I hope to be. The thing about the pictures this song brings to mind is that in them I'm never alone. I have family. Oddly enough the people I'm going to mention here aren't officially family.

I met Claire in the sixth grade and loved her instantly. There is so much about her that I love, but I think the thing that I love the most is that she is beautiful. In every way, Claire is beautiful. I hope I don't need to explain that because I don't think I can. I'm not only talking about pysical beauty, she is, but its not the point. I don't know how to explain it and I should have thought it through before I got into it. I guess the bottom line on Claire is that she is the kind of beautiful that affects you - touches you - moves you. I am different - better - because I know her.

I've know Aaron for a long time. Since before High School. Aaron is a great man. He's a great husband (That probably has a much to do with Sharron being amazing as it does with him), a great father, he's a great pastor. He has without a doubt been set apart by God to do special things. God's anointing is all over him. The thing is I don't really care about any of that. I know he's great, its obvious that he's different, but to me he'll always be the guy I played ball and rode wave runners with. He is my friend. That said, I don't think that its a coincidence that Aaron has been there in some of the most powerful moments of my life. It may be just a numbers thing, but I think God has used him in my life in a very intentional and powerful way.

I guess I met Lindsay in High School too, but I didn't get to know her until she started dating Daniel (who I'll get to in a minute) a couple years ago. Lindsay is the only person on this little list that didn't know me before dad died. That has always been huge for me. I let the devil convince me that most of my other friends loved me for who I used to be. They know what I was like before I was broken. Lindsay doesn't and I want her to see what I can be. She knows and has accepted that I've been hurt and I'm comfortable with her seeing that in me. The thing is, she's been hurt too. (I think in one way or another we all have). Lindsay, more than anyone else I've ever know, hurts gracefully. I don't mean graceful like a ballerina. I mean graceful like Jacob's wrestling match with God. At times its difficult to tell who's holding on to who (whom?). She is all wrapped up in God's grace. In that grace there is healing. She has taught me how to hurt gracefully and in that brought healing to my life.

Daniel has been my best friend since the 5th grade and is the only person I've ever given that title to. We have done life together. Every phase, aspect, and major event of my life has been influenced by him. He's been an inspiration, shield, and balance. I respect Daniel. He's done more with less than I would have thought possible. He's the reason the rest us us don't have any excuses. The beautiful thing about Daniel is that he doesn't see it that way. When the rest rest of us talk about the bad hands we've been dealt he doesn't complain, I used to think it was because it didn't want to be negative, I'm pretty sure now its because he doesn't see negative. With Daniel there is no bad or good pitches. He just takes whatever is thrown at him and knocks it out of the park. Its fun to watch. I think the reason he and I get along so well is that he balances me. I'm all over the place. I am an extremist. He is steady. Daniel brings calm - peace. I dare you to be in a bad mood when he's around. I should also mention that God talks directly to Daniel. He's never said that, you can just tell. I'm not sure what else I can say. You won't find him on my family tree, but he is my family.

Well, that took longer than I expected. I'm going to save the common pain discussion for later. I know you can't wait.

1 comment:

Lindsay Mizell said...

thank you. more than you know. thank you.