Loveland

Tonight I read Genesis 16 & 17, Psalms 8, and Mathew 10. I should probably focus on Mathew 10, but I'm too tired to really concentrate tonight so I'm going to leave it alone.

I'm going to talk about Psalms 8 because it gives me an opportunity to tell a story. As I read David talking about how moved he was and how insignificant he felt looking at the stars I'm reminded of a ski trip I took to Colorado like 6 years ago. It was one of the funnest trips I've ever taken, 5 guys driving 21 hours to ski for 1 week. I love the mountains and have spent a good bit of time in the Smokies, but nothing prepared me for what we saw out there.

The first place we skied was Loveland mountain. Its right on I-70 west of Denver. The peak of that mountain is at like 13,000 ft. and is right on the continental divide. Four of us (the four that though we could survive the trip down) took the lift to the top. It was like a Monday morning and no one was up there so we took our skies off and went under the rope and over the peak. What greeted us was breathtaking. We just stood there, no one spoke for several minutes. We were at the top of the world. Standing at over 13,ooo feet on the continental divide looking west out across the Rockies. I believe we all have moments when God speaks to us. That was one of mine. There are a handful of moments in my life that I feel defined by (I've already talked about the day on the lake and I'm sure the rest will come out right here very soon), this is one of them. Maybe I was too young when I got saved to experience God the way I did that day but for the first time I understood that what I saw was more than what God can do, in some way it is who He is.

I'm not sure what else to say about that day, I know there are no words to describe what it looked like or how it made me feel. I can tell you this: when the world seems dark and ugly, when all that is in me cries out for something beautiful, I go back. Loveland is my proof that God can't help but be beautiful. Its the portion of earth beneath my feet.

That last line is from an Ed Cash song. I suggest you listen to everything he ever recorded.

What God Desires

Tonight I read from Genesis 13-15, Psalms 7, and Mathew 9. I would love to talk about all the text, but I was so struck by Mathew 9:13b, "I desire mercy..." Jesus just told us what he desires from us. The creator of the universe, the almighty God, just said I want this. That should make it too easy. We should just give it to him. Mercy, Jesus wants mercy.

I began to wonder what mercy actually looks like so I did what anyone of us would do, I googled it. Just searched for an image of mercy. What I found was a bunch of cheesy pictures of Jesus in shiny robes with light all about and a stupid grin on his face. Is that really what the world thinks mercy looks like? Not to be denied a clear picture of what mercy looks like (I knew there had to be one on the Internet) I looked up synonyms. I liked kindness the best so I did an image search for it. The first thing I saw was the poster I have on the top left. That's nice, I thought, but what should it look like in my life. While I was thinking about that I had a slide show of all my pictures playing on the sidebar of my computer, and the image I have on the right popped up. Is it really that simple? Can it be that the God of the universe simply wants me to treat everyone with the same love, compassion, and care that I show my daughter? If it is, can we ever get the job done?

Storms

There's a moment We all come to In our own time and Our own space. Where all that we've done We can undo If our heart's In the right place. On a prayer, in a song I hear your voice and It keeps me hanging on. Raining down Against the wind I'm reaching out till We reach the circle's end. When you come Back to me again And again I see My yesterday's in front of me. Unfolding like a mystery. You're changing all that is And used to be. -Garth Brooks-

Tonight I read Genesis and Mathew, but I'm not going to talk about them. I'm going to tell you a story, I like those better anyway. Its a story that is forever etched in my memory and one God often brings me back to. Today I was reminded in song, its always subtle, but the image takes forever to leave me.

I should preface this by telling you that over the lasts five years I've more often than not found myself in a spiritual wasteland. Often times God's silence is deafening. Its been so quiet and so lonely that I welcome even the slightest change. Today, for the the first time in a while, I could almost smell the sweet aroma of a distant storm. I know its coming and I bet its violent. I'm so excited. I'm not afraid of these storms because it was in a very literal storm that I first experienced what it must feel like to wrestle the Lion.

My family had a couple of Wave Runners the summer after I graduate High School and I spent every weekend on the lake. I had a great tan. I had a friend that went out with me most of the time, and that weekend was no different. My buddy and I put in at a small cove near where 140 crosses the Tennessee river. That day we headed north to Knoxville. It had been overcast when we put in and they were calling for rain, but we were 18 and the end of summer was quickly approaching. We had gotten about 20 minutes from the ramp when it starting pouring. We turned around to head back, but the storm beat us there. The sky was black, the water dark, and at 50mph the rain stung like needles. I was terrified.

Had the ride back to the ramp been 5 minutes shorter the story would probably end there, but it wasn't. About the time we passed under the bridge something in me began to change. I found my terror could longer hold back my laughter. Could I actually be enjoying this? Am I crazy? At that moment I looked over at my buddy to find that the only thing more evident than the fear in his eyes was the smile on his face. I couldn't hear it over the storm and the machines, but I knew he was laughing. As soon as he saw me look over he broke the wave runner free of the water and did the most beautiful 360 you'll ever see. I had to match it. We spent the next 4 hours on the lake in what at times was a pretty powerful thunderstorm. When it got really bad we would go under the bridge and climb up on the concrete supports to catch our breath and brag about the cool tricks we had done.

He and I are still very close friends and to me that remains one of the defining moments in our friendship and in my life. That day in the midst of the storm I found laughter, fellowship, and rest. When life gets hard, when the storm rolls in, I remember that day. I slow down, pause, and listen for the laughter.

tonight's prayer

Father God,
Thank you for bringing me to this place. Thank you for using this week to remind me that I have no control. I thank you that I am now in a place where I remember that you are all there is. You have authored the events in my life in such a way as to bring me this place in this hour. I pray that tonight, through your strength and grace, I'm able to take the first step in a journey that leads me to a place where I'm able to walk with purpose beside you. I pray that tomorrow I have the will and determination that take the second step in that journey. As I go to your word now I pray that you would reveal yourself to me through it. Move me, touch me, remind me. Father God, Guide what I write here tonight. I pray that anyone who sees this page finds a clear image of you in a broken picture of me.

Amen

I'm not sure why I felt like sharing this, but I did so here it is.

It Starts

This is my first attempt at writing about my quiet time, its also my first attempt at at quiet time in a while so I apologize if this gets ugly. I found a bible reading plan online and read what it had for today. I was in Luke 8, Genesis 12, and Psalms 6.

We'll begin in Luke 8. Its the parable of the sower. After reading the parable I decided it would be good to figure out which kind of seed represents me. I couldn't pick one so I wandered about why that might be for a moment. I noticed that all the seeds, with the exception of the seeds on the path, involved salvation and some sort of growth. I decided I'm not a path seed, I'm saved. I'm pretty sure I'm not a rock seed. I'm saved, been through a good bit of testing, and I still love Jesus. I don't think I've grown enough to determine if I'm among thorns or in good soil. Hopefully this has started the watering process and we'll be able to tell where I am very soon.